Daycare Induced Headache

I’ve had it pretty good. Upon returning to work seven months ago post-maternity leave, my mom saved me from a daycare induced headache by taking on the responsibility of watching my precious boy all four days I’m in the office. But as Dylan nears the 1 year mark, it’s time to look into other options so that my mom can have a little more freedom and Dylan can have a little bit more of a social life. In short: I’m terrified. 

The thought of entrusting my son with a stranger leaves me unhinged. Childcare is a foreign concept to me, as my four sisters and I were raised by an extremely protective stay at home mom. It is quite daunting that my impressions of daycare are solely based off of news reports, common knowledge, and the stories of others. And let me tell you, there is nothing like unfamiliarity to spur fear of the unknown. 

So what’s a mom to do? Get a nanny cam. Kidding! Kind of…I’ll admit that I have looked into wearable cameras and stumbled upon some amazing concoctions (smoke detector, alarm clock, power outlet, wrist watch), but equipping Dylan with a camera is not the solution to my insecurities. It’s actually just leaning toward hyper-vigilant anxiety issues and enabling my paranoia. If I have to equip Dylan with a camera to feel better about his daycare then I need some serious help (and a new daycare). 

I have been extremely lucky to have my mom watch Dylan during his first year of life and I am forever grateful. But in between finding quality care for my baby, warming up to the inevitable change, and fighting the urge to purchase a spy cam necklace, I have my work cut out for me.

Santa's Workshop at the Farm

Dylan isn't so sick anymore but he passed his baby germs onto me and now I'm dealing with them. Thanks kid. Luckily he's already made up for it by making our trip to Santa a non-crying one. The Santa we saw was the real deal and even though he was located some ways away from where we live, he's the one I'll be going back to year after year. Thank you Tom's Farms!!!

Mean Mommy: Get Well Soon?

I knew something was brewing when I picked baby Dylan up from my mom's house after work yesterday. He looked like a rosy cheeked cherub angel with a runny nose. He was getting sick. Luckily I stashed a supply of breast-milk away in the freezer before I quit nursing months back for this exact reason. I broke into my milk bank and gave him some yum-yum in hopes it would boost his immune system before the germs took over. Carrots, cuddles, suctioning, and a couple hours later he was put down for the night. I turned up the volume on his monitor and went to bed too, until 1:15 in the morning when my little big boy woke up to play. Yeah, play. 

There was laughing and grunting, jumping and then silence. Thank God the secret night life of Dylan didn’t involve screaming. When I walked into his room this morning I found him lounging on his back in the corner of the crib like a tiny man testing out a lazy boy. And though I realize he isn’t feeling great, that his body is burning up, and he’s physically exhausted, I can’t help but think he is such a cute little sicky. My little daddy’s boy finally needs (and more importantly wants) mommy! And before a pack of wild super mom's attack me for implying that I enjoy my son in his sickly state, just look at that face! 

A Parent’s List: 5 Words That Hit Home

STRUGGLES – I remembered the diapers but forgot the wipes. My hands are full, the kid is crying, and I can’t unlock the front door. Public tantrums, dogs without leashes and bleeding tongues. Some days suck and all you can do is power through the eye of the storm. Struggling won’t make you a bad parent; it will make you a resilient human being.

GUESSING – We’re all doing it. You can either float in the internet’s sea of contradicting opinions or you can look within yourself and do what feels right. Spankings, time-outs, diets, sleep overs, homeschooling and cell phones. The decisions never stop and no one is going to know how to raise your child better than you. Right? Wrong? We really are just winging it. Welcome to the club!

MAGIC – Kids will point the way and lead you to the land of magic, if you let them. It goes by quick so enjoy it, foster it and partake in all the wonderment, awe and enchantments of childhood as long as you can. One day our babies will be skeptical adults who will have to file taxes and cook dinner just like us.

LAUGHS – A gift resides in every moment and instead of freaking out that your son just peed on your fresh blouse five minutes before you had to leave for work, look at his mischievous face and take a deep breath. He is telling you a joke with his wee-wee, it’s not that funny but what else are you gonna do? Just laugh.

BALANCE – What a gimmick! Balance is like a leprechaun: a legend you can spend a lifetime chasing without ever seeing. It’s all about rhythm, baby! Find your rhythm and roll with it. So what if you don’t make it to the grocery store because you spent your 45 minutes of freedom on the internet? Life is a dance with an ever changing beat and there’s simply no rhythm in a balancing act.  

Mommies Behaving Badly

I desperately want to be one of those people whose energy doesn't spike off into the freak-out zone but I'm not that zen (yet). From a young age my zealous nature had me speaking out of turn, standing up to hot shots and reacting first apologizing later. I've gotten somewhat better at practicing the art of think before you freak but I'm a work in progress. The last thing I want is for sponge baby to absorb my tenacity so now more than ever I breathe deeply. But sometimes I still behave badly. 

The other day after work I strapped my 23lb baby Dylan onto my chest and took both of my dogs out for a walk like I always have to do. It’s a daily challenge and it can be annoying and complicated, but it’s my only option. So as I was bending down to pick up my dog’s crap mid-walk, a neighbor dog (who is never on a leash) charged at us almost knocking Dylan and I to the ground. Dylan began to cry. “Sit!” I commanded as I stood up and tried to gain back control. My neighbor was instantly annoyed and barked, “Excuse me?” “I wasn’t talking to you.” I said as I attempted to pull my dogs away by their leashes. “Oh, well then excuse ME.” “Yeah, well how about you do us all a favor and put your dog on a leash!” I snapped.

He then grabbed his dog by the collar, gave me the dirtiest look known to man and waddled away. And though I didn’t completely lose my shit (thank God he didn't respond!), it’s going to be extremely awkward the next time I have a run-in with that neighbor. Unless, of course, his dog is leashed.