You know those SNICKERS® commercials that depict someone as an unruly, irrational brat, only for them to revert back to their true identity once they’ve eaten a SNICKERS? That’s me. Only instead of becoming an animal or a grumpy older person, when I’m hungry, I become a different kind of monster: a toddler. I can tell because:
I shut down. Oh, were you talking to me? LEAVE ME ALONE, I’M HUNGRY.
I’m an intolerable mood killer. YOU’RE HAPPY WHILE I’M DYING OF HUNGER? SHUT UP!
I forgo manners. NO “THANK YOU,” NO “PLEASE,” JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY.
I don’t care. Yeah, my dogs peeing on your lawn. SO WHAT?
I don’t listen. “Will you please check traffic since I’m driving?” *Blatant silence*
My favorite word? “No.” “Would you like a free upgrade…” NO I SAID!
I think in caps lock. ANOTHER RED LIGHT?! WHAT TIME IS IT?! WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD?
But there’s an easy fix.
My inner toddler can be repressed by feeding it. And my most favorite snack to kill my stomach’s alter ego is a Peanut Butter Squares SNICKERS (which is also my all-time favorite chocolate of all time).
There’s simply not enough sanity to accommodate two tantruming toddlers in one household.
For that reason, whenever I visit Ralphs to pick up groceries, I always grab a SNICKERS to keep in my purse. Because who am I when I’m hungry? My son. And ain’t nobody got time for that.
My inner toddler can be repressed by feeding it. And my most favorite snack to kill my stomach’s alter ego is a Peanut Butter Squares SNICKERS (which is also my all-time favorite chocolate of all time).
There’s simply not enough sanity to accommodate two tantruming toddlers in one household.
For that reason, whenever I visit Ralphs to pick up groceries, I always grab a SNICKERS to keep in my purse. Because who am I when I’m hungry? My son. And ain’t nobody got time for that.
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